Life for this writer, as I suspect for many others has been a roller coaster as of late. Some of the dips have been to some amazing depths. But there have been rises and peaks, promises of more thrills to be had.
Do I still write?
Are you kidding? Yes, I do. I haven't written short stories or posted as often as I like, but I continue to write my novel and hit goals.
Tonight, I submitted to my writing group the first 20K+ words of my work in progress. I would never have felt it was ready if I chose to be casual so I'm grateful for a deadline, for me they are necessary. As much as I want perfection in my execution, I get lost in my quest to reach it. As I reviewed the copies I later passed to the group, I saw flaws that made me flinch and want to scream, "I know better than that!" or "I should have caught this!" etc. Yet there are other parts that I feel are fantastic and interesting. Fun.
So here I am countering attacks by switchblade-bearing butterflies, dodging waves of anxiety, and running from storms of doubt. What keeps me standing in the eye of all of these forces? My belief:
My stories are written for the joy and need to write. I want to question, explore, provoke and have fun. They are meant to be shared and enjoyed with others.
So, if I don't give them to respected individuals to review and share constructive feedback as they develop, how will my stories ever become as great as I believe they can be? How will I ever grow and improve?
So that's it. Now there's nothing more for me to do except to wait and see.
And keep writing, of course.
Showing posts with label WIP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WIP. Show all posts
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
I'm not dead and I'm not for sale...
Well...my writing may be for sale at some point but not me, per say.
I am alive and mostly well. Time away from the blog and website has allowed me to focus on my final semester toward my first degree(s) to be awarded in just a week and a half (gah!), focus on my health (which I had neglected) and generally making life more relaxing and fun again by managing the stress of budgets and cash in this recession ready economic climate. I have been working, going to classes and writing when I can - though I readily confess my writing got the short end of the stick overall.
The good part is that I haven't stopped completely though my frequency has been less and I have been VERY slow. The other good part is that the tedium of work allowed my mind to travel enough to work out and expand my story further. On one blessed day during the last month and a half (and just in time as I was feeling particularly guilty and frustrated about the writing situation) I actually sat and banged out 3,000 quality words that moved the story, scene, character development and plot in one session. This did much to improve my sagging confidence and ego. The story lives in me as does my desire yet "writing out" my stresses can only go so far with me I've discovered. Or better to say certain types of stress do not lend themselves well to my writing. Perhaps as I continue to mature and develop as a writer this will change.
Now things appear to be on an upswing and this summer promises me GREAT opportunities to complete my book and possibly start my second one (YAY!!). I do also want to write a few short pieces and submit them with a full understanding that I can probably collect at least nine more rejections before the summer is out (I've got one rejection under my belt currently).
So in about two weeks the blog and website should be alive again with content and thoughts on a regular basis.
Today is Mother's Day and we celebrated this morning with our moms who we are so fortunate to have as they are among the best in the universe. I hope you were able to do the same or appreciate the memories of your mom on this day with smiles and laughter. I know, that was sappy. Snark makes a return in 2 weeks too.
BTW: Quote in subject line is from song Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart by Stone Temple Pilots
I am alive and mostly well. Time away from the blog and website has allowed me to focus on my final semester toward my first degree(s) to be awarded in just a week and a half (gah!), focus on my health (which I had neglected) and generally making life more relaxing and fun again by managing the stress of budgets and cash in this recession ready economic climate. I have been working, going to classes and writing when I can - though I readily confess my writing got the short end of the stick overall.
The good part is that I haven't stopped completely though my frequency has been less and I have been VERY slow. The other good part is that the tedium of work allowed my mind to travel enough to work out and expand my story further. On one blessed day during the last month and a half (and just in time as I was feeling particularly guilty and frustrated about the writing situation) I actually sat and banged out 3,000 quality words that moved the story, scene, character development and plot in one session. This did much to improve my sagging confidence and ego. The story lives in me as does my desire yet "writing out" my stresses can only go so far with me I've discovered. Or better to say certain types of stress do not lend themselves well to my writing. Perhaps as I continue to mature and develop as a writer this will change.
Now things appear to be on an upswing and this summer promises me GREAT opportunities to complete my book and possibly start my second one (YAY!!). I do also want to write a few short pieces and submit them with a full understanding that I can probably collect at least nine more rejections before the summer is out (I've got one rejection under my belt currently).
So in about two weeks the blog and website should be alive again with content and thoughts on a regular basis.
Today is Mother's Day and we celebrated this morning with our moms who we are so fortunate to have as they are among the best in the universe. I hope you were able to do the same or appreciate the memories of your mom on this day with smiles and laughter. I know, that was sappy. Snark makes a return in 2 weeks too.
BTW: Quote in subject line is from song Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart by Stone Temple Pilots
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Regular Updates To This Blog Have Been Interrupted By...
a) Impending midterms
b) Midterm/semester related educational opportunity deadlines
c) Semi-surprise family visit
d) Search for a day job
e) Revenge of The Cold Part 4: I Still Linger
f) Minimal word count and re-imagining of key scenes in my WIP
g) All of the above
In any case, ETA a few days to a week before more regular posts and updates resume.
That is all!
b) Midterm/semester related educational opportunity deadlines
c) Semi-surprise family visit
d) Search for a day job
e) Revenge of The Cold Part 4: I Still Linger
f) Minimal word count and re-imagining of key scenes in my WIP
g) All of the above
In any case, ETA a few days to a week before more regular posts and updates resume.
That is all!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Tell the Story, Ask Questions
The writing has been harder lately. So much harder that doing anything other than private journaling felt like pulling teeth. Yet, I persisted. Today I tried some new techniques for what to do when you feel "blocked" even though I didn't exactly believe that I was or felt that way. I mean, I was writing. I have an outline and plan. I followed them and made my minimum word counts at worst. And I know part of the writing process is that things stop feeling like that rush when you start a new story and you have to get through. But it was just...not feeling right. Today, I think I figured out why. I was forcing my words the story. I kept saying to myself some variation of, "Write this, write harder. Yeah I have a plan and yeah I can augment it, but structure is important - I need to follow it. Goals to hit. Create! Now."
And this is part of writing process I know, but I completely ignored when my gut said, "This isn't working, this scene is wrong." Or "This character doesn't really want to do this or behave this way." I just nodded and kept going - I thought I was trying to sabotage myself and all my efforts for organization and discipline. I tried to force things to happen and because I made a map (an outline) I wrote to the outline - not to the story I have to tell. There is a difference, at least for me. But it felt like I was writing through stinky mud - possible to do, but not pleasant.
So I stopped. Today through a writing exercise I was asked questions, which inspired answers and more questions...lo and behold I started to get the right answers. Things started to click with the story and characters. I'm going to have to tear up a bunch of words/progress (again!) but for the feeling that this is what the characters would do and where the story ought to go, I feel better, energized and intrigued with my story again. I know I can force characters to do whatever or the story to do what I want. But I realize because I was forcing reactions that progressed the plot (technically) though not the story, the story itself was suffering and becoming flat.
Now, I can continue to throw monkey wrenches at my characters to see if they can dodge or catch them, but I know if they would scream and cry rather than take a hit and act tough then that is what they should do. That is more true. No matter how fantastic a story I may tell, I always want some truth; true lies to be told. It's a thing. So I guess part of the lesson here is to trust my writing instincts. When it feels wrong it probably is wrong. And I shouldn't get hung up about not following the outline if something different feels right. Tell the story.
I'm back to excitement about my 5 a.m. wake-ups. Ok, not excitement but...more positively motivated to do it to see what will happen next in the story. How 'bout that?
And this is part of writing process I know, but I completely ignored when my gut said, "This isn't working, this scene is wrong." Or "This character doesn't really want to do this or behave this way." I just nodded and kept going - I thought I was trying to sabotage myself and all my efforts for organization and discipline. I tried to force things to happen and because I made a map (an outline) I wrote to the outline - not to the story I have to tell. There is a difference, at least for me. But it felt like I was writing through stinky mud - possible to do, but not pleasant.
So I stopped. Today through a writing exercise I was asked questions, which inspired answers and more questions...lo and behold I started to get the right answers. Things started to click with the story and characters. I'm going to have to tear up a bunch of words/progress (again!) but for the feeling that this is what the characters would do and where the story ought to go, I feel better, energized and intrigued with my story again. I know I can force characters to do whatever or the story to do what I want. But I realize because I was forcing reactions that progressed the plot (technically) though not the story, the story itself was suffering and becoming flat.
Now, I can continue to throw monkey wrenches at my characters to see if they can dodge or catch them, but I know if they would scream and cry rather than take a hit and act tough then that is what they should do. That is more true. No matter how fantastic a story I may tell, I always want some truth; true lies to be told. It's a thing. So I guess part of the lesson here is to trust my writing instincts. When it feels wrong it probably is wrong. And I shouldn't get hung up about not following the outline if something different feels right. Tell the story.
I'm back to excitement about my 5 a.m. wake-ups. Ok, not excitement but...more positively motivated to do it to see what will happen next in the story. How 'bout that?
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
It's A Dirty Job But Someone's Gotta Do It....
Let's see....
I notice some writers of blogs I read have a "Confession Weekday," where they list the week's accomplishments and upcoming goals. This seems like a good motivation. I think I will try this and see how it works for me. I like Tuesdays.
So here's "The Score."
This weekend was not as productive for writing progress as I would have preferred, though progress was made. Slow progress. I wrote and I gave into my inner editor with revising until I repeated my mantra "First Draft...First Draft...Don't go daft with your First Draft. That's what revisions are for." It helped.
I've been thinking of submitting some short stories or flashes at least. I'm so consumed with thoughts about my WIP (when not doing my other life/responsibilities stuff) it's been hard to think of other stories. Still, I journal for myself and I create flashes once a week with writing prompts at Absolute Write Water Cooler and those have been fun. I've also been introduced to some very talented writers. The stories I write for AWWC I use for fun and development. I haven't worried about them for submission, coherency or even becoming more than exercises, though I'm touched when people occasionally suggest that something I've written could be continued and I do consider it. Then again sometimes I write stuff and get a polite sort of "That's nice but what?" I don't mind when that happens, lets me know what works for others and what may just be working for me.
The writer's group I attend has created a radical splinter group (Radsplip - Love that Jamie!) that is devoted to serious novelists helping each other. I'm hopeful that not only will I continue to learn, grow, better develop my writing skills, be inspired by others and possibly make some new friends, I'll also have a steady focus (goal dates) to help me get my book ready for prime time.
So this week, I'd like to make some significant progress on my Draft (after major test tomorrow for class). I'm going to try writing for pages instead of word count and see how that works. Three pages minimum to start.
More research (I'm doing it as I go so I don't bog myself down with research when I should be writing). There are some concepts I want to be sure I have good basic understanding of for my WIP before I take them and go waaaaaay left.
I'd like to get consistently back on the "wake up early and write" train for at least one week and see how this compares to my current ride, "write in the afternoon" train with the "write in spare moments too," caboose. There is no reason I can't get up early and write except I'm not generally a morning motivated person and my bed whispers seductive things in concert with my pillow to me every morning when I try to get up - not to mention the siren-like warmth that emits effortlessly from the Human Heater (aka Hot Clever Man).
Ugh. Reading all that back I can confess it's just lazy talk, I know it and it has no place in my goals. Better to focus on the advantages which is that by doing this, I can get 2.5 hours solid time (which is 2 hours of writing after tea and morning meditation) if I just get up and do it. I know I'll love the feeling of accomplishment. I can also continue to write in between other tasks the rest of the day knowing that those words could be icing on my cupcake.
Oh, I must set a time. A very early but reasonable time. 5 a.m. because then I'll have an hour to get dressed for the day. Good gravy that is early for me. One week AND a 3 hour modifier for weekends IF I have no plan for that day. Ok, that can work.
AND....I will write or revise one story for the purpose of submission to some outlet this week.
I'll let you know how it goes.
I notice some writers of blogs I read have a "Confession Weekday," where they list the week's accomplishments and upcoming goals. This seems like a good motivation. I think I will try this and see how it works for me. I like Tuesdays.
So here's "The Score."
This weekend was not as productive for writing progress as I would have preferred, though progress was made. Slow progress. I wrote and I gave into my inner editor with revising until I repeated my mantra "First Draft...First Draft...Don't go daft with your First Draft. That's what revisions are for." It helped.
I've been thinking of submitting some short stories or flashes at least. I'm so consumed with thoughts about my WIP (when not doing my other life/responsibilities stuff) it's been hard to think of other stories. Still, I journal for myself and I create flashes once a week with writing prompts at Absolute Write Water Cooler and those have been fun. I've also been introduced to some very talented writers. The stories I write for AWWC I use for fun and development. I haven't worried about them for submission, coherency or even becoming more than exercises, though I'm touched when people occasionally suggest that something I've written could be continued and I do consider it. Then again sometimes I write stuff and get a polite sort of "That's nice but what?" I don't mind when that happens, lets me know what works for others and what may just be working for me.
The writer's group I attend has created a radical splinter group (Radsplip - Love that Jamie!) that is devoted to serious novelists helping each other. I'm hopeful that not only will I continue to learn, grow, better develop my writing skills, be inspired by others and possibly make some new friends, I'll also have a steady focus (goal dates) to help me get my book ready for prime time.
So this week, I'd like to make some significant progress on my Draft (after major test tomorrow for class). I'm going to try writing for pages instead of word count and see how that works. Three pages minimum to start.
More research (I'm doing it as I go so I don't bog myself down with research when I should be writing). There are some concepts I want to be sure I have good basic understanding of for my WIP before I take them and go waaaaaay left.
I'd like to get consistently back on the "wake up early and write" train for at least one week and see how this compares to my current ride, "write in the afternoon" train with the "write in spare moments too," caboose. There is no reason I can't get up early and write except I'm not generally a morning motivated person and my bed whispers seductive things in concert with my pillow to me every morning when I try to get up - not to mention the siren-like warmth that emits effortlessly from the Human Heater (aka Hot Clever Man).
Ugh. Reading all that back I can confess it's just lazy talk, I know it and it has no place in my goals. Better to focus on the advantages which is that by doing this, I can get 2.5 hours solid time (which is 2 hours of writing after tea and morning meditation) if I just get up and do it. I know I'll love the feeling of accomplishment. I can also continue to write in between other tasks the rest of the day knowing that those words could be icing on my cupcake.
Oh, I must set a time. A very early but reasonable time. 5 a.m. because then I'll have an hour to get dressed for the day. Good gravy that is early for me. One week AND a 3 hour modifier for weekends IF I have no plan for that day. Ok, that can work.
AND....I will write or revise one story for the purpose of submission to some outlet this week.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Updates...
So it's been an adjustment week thus far, with new schedule changes. Fighting a cold that I'm convinced friends shared with me. At this moment with the help of proper medication, I'm winning which feels good. A realization it is now February. Geez. And I am making slow, quite slow compared to my goals but steady progress on my WIP this week.
I've decided I am going to think of this as the good days. Before I'm forced to write by deadline. These are the times where I can afford to adjust my goals to work with my life schedule events. Positive thinking and all when I'm published it may not be as easy to adjust my goals as it is now. It's the plus of the process in this stage of my writing development.(I'm kinda joking with myself though. I think the deadlines are going to be big fun too!)
I participated for the first time in the Flash Fiction Carnival for Absolute Write Water Cooler (Forums) and it was a fun exercise. These are monthly themed flash fiction challenges of varying lengths that may be written in any genre. For January, we had up to 1k words for the theme of "new". I really enjoyed reading the creative and clever interpretations of the theme by other talented writers. I read some excellent written prose and takes on perspectives. Check it out The Fiction Carnival January Stories: New. This does include my own submission for the curious. Please note, they are now accepting submissions for the February Flash Fiction Carnival and a special Valentine's Day themed carnival too.
I keep forgetting how good location changes can be sometimes. Instead of my office, I was writing in a new spot, sunshine people etc., listening to music when inspiration came over me from both and the scene I intended to write unfurled, though not the way I thought. It was fun and still forwarded the story and all these other goals but it was different and it added to the story too. So I must remember that every so often writing in a new location or with new influences can help inspiration. Good stuff.
There's more, but I've got some errands to run...
I've decided I am going to think of this as the good days. Before I'm forced to write by deadline. These are the times where I can afford to adjust my goals to work with my life schedule events. Positive thinking and all when I'm published it may not be as easy to adjust my goals as it is now. It's the plus of the process in this stage of my writing development.(I'm kinda joking with myself though. I think the deadlines are going to be big fun too!)
I participated for the first time in the Flash Fiction Carnival for Absolute Write Water Cooler (Forums) and it was a fun exercise. These are monthly themed flash fiction challenges of varying lengths that may be written in any genre. For January, we had up to 1k words for the theme of "new". I really enjoyed reading the creative and clever interpretations of the theme by other talented writers. I read some excellent written prose and takes on perspectives. Check it out The Fiction Carnival January Stories: New. This does include my own submission for the curious. Please note, they are now accepting submissions for the February Flash Fiction Carnival and a special Valentine's Day themed carnival too.
I keep forgetting how good location changes can be sometimes. Instead of my office, I was writing in a new spot, sunshine people etc., listening to music when inspiration came over me from both and the scene I intended to write unfurled, though not the way I thought. It was fun and still forwarded the story and all these other goals but it was different and it added to the story too. So I must remember that every so often writing in a new location or with new influences can help inspiration. Good stuff.
There's more, but I've got some errands to run...
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Nanowrimo Begins...
I'm participating this year but working on a story already in progress...so I'm unofficial, but it's worth it. I agonized about this 'cause I love the Nano, the rush and comraderie. Then I realized, I really love and believe in this story...I don't want to stop. This will help me finish it and I know I will love that feeling equally, if not even more. Winhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifs all around. I swear Nano gives me another great reason to love November.
If you are participating in Nano, good luck and tag me if you want to buddy up!
www.nanowimo.org
If you are participating in Nano, good luck and tag me if you want to buddy up!
www.nanowimo.org
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Ooo. Ooo now this is interesting...
I'm writing.
I've got an outline of sorts had a scene in mind, characters, what would happen. I'm typing along and then two of them get into this staring match (not foreseen or outlined) and they were just supposed to sit and check each other out. But my protagonist is surly (for good reason) and this guy, he's impatient (for good reason). Suddenly they both are hijacking this scene, the intentions. Something else is happening.
And it's so much better! It's in line with my original intention but it's much more defining of who he is and it's making my protagonist rise up to the occasion, too. Maybe this happens with other writers I'm sure it must, I've read about it. In certain ways it has happened to me before but...not quite like this. It fits.
So far this story is growing and I'm nervous only because I don't want to hit "this is crap" and give in to a temptation to stop. I have to finish this and push through. I have to do this because I want to do this and I really do. Hmm, I better make sure my loose out line is ready if that happens. Sunday goal methinks.
I'm up to 7K today. I've determined that writing until the scene I'm writing feels complete or writing about 1K on days I write is my minimum goal word count. At least for this story. This pace allows such things to happen like above and makes me feel like I'm making solid progress. I can always write more. I can give myself a break when I need to. But 1K is my goal.
Okay, I'll stop with the every move updates (I really don't mean to) but I had to share this feels...so good. Gosh I hope it is good. Or reads well. Or someone likes it - ahh later! I'll think about that later.
For now, I need to get it out. And I like it.
I've got an outline of sorts had a scene in mind, characters, what would happen. I'm typing along and then two of them get into this staring match (not foreseen or outlined) and they were just supposed to sit and check each other out. But my protagonist is surly (for good reason) and this guy, he's impatient (for good reason). Suddenly they both are hijacking this scene, the intentions. Something else is happening.
And it's so much better! It's in line with my original intention but it's much more defining of who he is and it's making my protagonist rise up to the occasion, too. Maybe this happens with other writers I'm sure it must, I've read about it. In certain ways it has happened to me before but...not quite like this. It fits.
So far this story is growing and I'm nervous only because I don't want to hit "this is crap" and give in to a temptation to stop. I have to finish this and push through. I have to do this because I want to do this and I really do. Hmm, I better make sure my loose out line is ready if that happens. Sunday goal methinks.
I'm up to 7K today. I've determined that writing until the scene I'm writing feels complete or writing about 1K on days I write is my minimum goal word count. At least for this story. This pace allows such things to happen like above and makes me feel like I'm making solid progress. I can always write more. I can give myself a break when I need to. But 1K is my goal.
Okay, I'll stop with the every move updates (I really don't mean to) but I had to share this feels...so good. Gosh I hope it is good. Or reads well. Or someone likes it - ahh later! I'll think about that later.
For now, I need to get it out. And I like it.
Friday, October 5, 2007
What am I doing? Writing...
I should probably be sleeping.
But I just finished writing a 1000 words. An idea born from a challenge and a desire to write a little fic (750 words I figured) has blossomed over the last two days and at this moment I'm 4000 words in. This is going to screw with my NaNoWriMo goals - but I'm on to something good. It feels like it. It's rough, so rough but I like it.
Is it a novel? Is it a short story? I don't know just yet. I'm not totally sure what is going to happen in it, but characters are talking and events are shaping. I'm only a few chapters ahead in my planning. I'm just rounding on what I think the climax and ending will be in my musings. I'm completely engaged. Most of all I'm just writing.
All this on a borrowed computer given that my current one with all my luxuries is in the Mac shop. Not bad. Maybe the new comp and keyboard are conducive to my writing? Hmm something to consider.
Alright, I can rest now. Because when I wake up, I'll write.
But I just finished writing a 1000 words. An idea born from a challenge and a desire to write a little fic (750 words I figured) has blossomed over the last two days and at this moment I'm 4000 words in. This is going to screw with my NaNoWriMo goals - but I'm on to something good. It feels like it. It's rough, so rough but I like it.
Is it a novel? Is it a short story? I don't know just yet. I'm not totally sure what is going to happen in it, but characters are talking and events are shaping. I'm only a few chapters ahead in my planning. I'm just rounding on what I think the climax and ending will be in my musings. I'm completely engaged. Most of all I'm just writing.
All this on a borrowed computer given that my current one with all my luxuries is in the Mac shop. Not bad. Maybe the new comp and keyboard are conducive to my writing? Hmm something to consider.
Alright, I can rest now. Because when I wake up, I'll write.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Ohmigosh! Silly Writer's Moment Here
Ok. I promise I'm not going to report every little move I make here, that's truly boring. This is not part of my "Great American Novel" idea...but a story idea I've had married a plot idea, then the offspring blossomed and expanded like an atomic monster!!! It happened during a free writing plot exercise! Did I mention free writing kicks ass?
::Cue me running around office like excited cat during nocturnal shadow races when you are dead asleep and home base is your snoring, pillow-resting head::
I'm excited, to say the least. The idea is of course, brilliant (I'm sure this will change just not right now). Must write like atomic monster!
K... need to do some outlining but wow..pow, zing. This is wonderful. Not that I get like this with every plot or idea...but this one feels like mine to offer? Does that make sense? Blah. Too many words.
I got an awesome inspiration and I gotta get back to it, K?
[EDIT 6:26 p.m.: 1700 words total on back story, theme, premise and starting synopsis (with a few hundred more on loose outline). Brain still sparking. This is a good start. Now it's dinner time!]
::Cue me running around office like excited cat during nocturnal shadow races when you are dead asleep and home base is your snoring, pillow-resting head::
I'm excited, to say the least. The idea is of course, brilliant (I'm sure this will change just not right now). Must write like atomic monster!
K... need to do some outlining but wow..pow, zing. This is wonderful. Not that I get like this with every plot or idea...but this one feels like mine to offer? Does that make sense? Blah. Too many words.
I got an awesome inspiration and I gotta get back to it, K?
[EDIT 6:26 p.m.: 1700 words total on back story, theme, premise and starting synopsis (with a few hundred more on loose outline). Brain still sparking. This is a good start. Now it's dinner time!]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
The Fine Print
Words That Rattle 'Round My Head by Ray M. Solberg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.