Updates...

So it's been an adjustment week thus far, with new schedule changes. Fighting a cold that I'm convinced friends shared with me. At this moment with the help of proper medication, I'm winning which feels good. A realization it is now February. Geez. And I am making slow, quite slow compared to my goals but steady progress on my WIP this week.

I've decided I am going to think of this as the good days. Before I'm forced to write by deadline. These are the times where I can afford to adjust my goals to work with my life schedule events. Positive thinking and all when I'm published it may not be as easy to adjust my goals as it is now. It's the plus of the process in this stage of my writing development.(I'm kinda joking with myself though. I think the deadlines are going to be big fun too!)

I participated for the first time in the Flash Fiction Carnival for Absolute Write Water Cooler (Forums) and it was a fun exercise. These are monthly themed flash fiction challenges of varying lengths that may be written in any genre. For January, we had up to 1k words for the theme of "new". I really enjoyed reading the creative and clever interpretations of the theme by other talented writers. I read some excellent written prose and takes on perspectives. Check it out The Fiction Carnival January Stories: New. This does include my own submission for the curious. Please note, they are now accepting submissions for the February Flash Fiction Carnival and a special Valentine's Day themed carnival too.

I keep forgetting how good location changes can be sometimes. Instead of my office, I was writing in a new spot, sunshine people etc., listening to music when inspiration came over me from both and the scene I intended to write unfurled, though not the way I thought. It was fun and still forwarded the story and all these other goals but it was different and it added to the story too. So I must remember that every so often writing in a new location or with new influences can help inspiration. Good stuff.

There's more, but I've got some errands to run...

Follow up to Belated Sunday Meditation Post

Today I woke up and wrote.

This afternoon, I wrote a short fic between classes.

It feels awesome when I make my word worth something and respect myself and my writing.

And now, off to study so I can write even more.

My First Rejection Letter

Today when I arrived home from errands and hanging out with my mom, my first rejection letter (a form letter) was waiting for me. The website of the publisher had cautioned not to expect more than a form letter due to volume. It is a very politely worded and concisely written form letter.

My first thought was some disappointment, it would have been wonderful to have published in spite of my inexperience first time out. By the same token, as I continue to practice and apply some of what I learned at the conference in my writings (I attended after I submitted Soul Mate), I can already see some of the areas in need of improvement and work more clearly. I realize I'm still learning. I'm ok with this.

When I submitted this story it was during a peak of a very stressful time. Dad was fading and everyone in my family was hurting. We would only have a few more days together. I recall thinking when I hit send on my email to submit it, what better time than right now to submit a work (clearly I admit I was not thinking career wise or about how emotional I was feeling inside). But a "no" couldn't possibly compare to the hurt I felt. Still feel admittedly.

Then, I needed to do something part of the world outside of the ICU unit and hospital, remind myself there were things beyond...those moments. I wanted to visit with my dad and share with him all about the experience and process of the idea, writing it, trying to edit myself and then submitting. I wanted him to know that I had accomplished something we had long, thoughtful discussions about. I submitted a story that was the best I could write at that time (though perhaps not brilliant, in retrospect). Happily, I was able to tell him all of this during a point when he was conscious and pain free. I told him with my chin up and a genuine smile. I remember he smiled back through the tubes and I knew he heard me, was proud of me.

I hope to always remember to put rejections and other such disappointments I may face while I travel down roads into this perspective. Rejections are disappointing. I'd be a liar if I said it doesn't hurt. I do feel about it, after all I'm putting myself out there. But it's not HURT in the big letters. Not compared to what dad went through or how much I miss him.

Finally, I hold my chin up with the knowledge that I submitted something! Geez, at least no one responded, "Dear GOD Ray! Never send anything to us again!" Even if someone had, I'd smile, salute and keep on moving. This letter is proof to myself I'm on my chosen path of storyteller, writer. So its not with a large clash of cymbals to herald my foot falls. Its still enough fanfare to make me smile. I'll even be able to flash the rejection page around as proof I'm not just talking...I'm walking. More than that, I'm writing and hopefully writing better all the time.

So a sincere thank you to Shane and the slush pile editors at Delirium Books for making my first rejection memorable and even dignified. I believe with time and steady improvement, I'll make it harder to send another polite form letter to me in the future. At some point with applied diligence, I'll make it impossible.

Today is a gold star day. Hope yours is too.

Holy Freaking CRAP

I just entered my first submission to a respected horror publisher. Yeah it's a Flash Fiction piece and while I'm capable of writing gore and guts horror (and I do like to from time to time) this was a little more funny and much more psychological in execution - but then psychological horror has always held more appeal to me. I think the most frightening monsters live there.

I do NOT expect this to be accepted (It would be paid if it were and that's just too much to consider at this moment). But the fact that I just did it, was inspired to write a story for this site, wrote it and submitted following their directions I feel like...I'm shocked and happy with myself. No is the worst that can happen, right?

It felt good to just bite the bullet.

Must write MORE. Wanna do it again! Again!