My First Rejection Letter

Today when I arrived home from errands and hanging out with my mom, my first rejection letter (a form letter) was waiting for me. The website of the publisher had cautioned not to expect more than a form letter due to volume. It is a very politely worded and concisely written form letter.

My first thought was some disappointment, it would have been wonderful to have published in spite of my inexperience first time out. By the same token, as I continue to practice and apply some of what I learned at the conference in my writings (I attended after I submitted Soul Mate), I can already see some of the areas in need of improvement and work more clearly. I realize I'm still learning. I'm ok with this.

When I submitted this story it was during a peak of a very stressful time. Dad was fading and everyone in my family was hurting. We would only have a few more days together. I recall thinking when I hit send on my email to submit it, what better time than right now to submit a work (clearly I admit I was not thinking career wise or about how emotional I was feeling inside). But a "no" couldn't possibly compare to the hurt I felt. Still feel admittedly.

Then, I needed to do something part of the world outside of the ICU unit and hospital, remind myself there were things beyond...those moments. I wanted to visit with my dad and share with him all about the experience and process of the idea, writing it, trying to edit myself and then submitting. I wanted him to know that I had accomplished something we had long, thoughtful discussions about. I submitted a story that was the best I could write at that time (though perhaps not brilliant, in retrospect). Happily, I was able to tell him all of this during a point when he was conscious and pain free. I told him with my chin up and a genuine smile. I remember he smiled back through the tubes and I knew he heard me, was proud of me.

I hope to always remember to put rejections and other such disappointments I may face while I travel down roads into this perspective. Rejections are disappointing. I'd be a liar if I said it doesn't hurt. I do feel about it, after all I'm putting myself out there. But it's not HURT in the big letters. Not compared to what dad went through or how much I miss him.

Finally, I hold my chin up with the knowledge that I submitted something! Geez, at least no one responded, "Dear GOD Ray! Never send anything to us again!" Even if someone had, I'd smile, salute and keep on moving. This letter is proof to myself I'm on my chosen path of storyteller, writer. So its not with a large clash of cymbals to herald my foot falls. Its still enough fanfare to make me smile. I'll even be able to flash the rejection page around as proof I'm not just talking...I'm walking. More than that, I'm writing and hopefully writing better all the time.

So a sincere thank you to Shane and the slush pile editors at Delirium Books for making my first rejection memorable and even dignified. I believe with time and steady improvement, I'll make it harder to send another polite form letter to me in the future. At some point with applied diligence, I'll make it impossible.

Today is a gold star day. Hope yours is too.

Holy Freaking CRAP

I just entered my first submission to a respected horror publisher. Yeah it's a Flash Fiction piece and while I'm capable of writing gore and guts horror (and I do like to from time to time) this was a little more funny and much more psychological in execution - but then psychological horror has always held more appeal to me. I think the most frightening monsters live there.

I do NOT expect this to be accepted (It would be paid if it were and that's just too much to consider at this moment). But the fact that I just did it, was inspired to write a story for this site, wrote it and submitted following their directions I feel like...I'm shocked and happy with myself. No is the worst that can happen, right?

It felt good to just bite the bullet.

Must write MORE. Wanna do it again! Again!