When I say things I've learned, I mean things that have finally sunk into my somewhat thick skull and I now believe.
1) I am a perfectionist. Sometimes my desire to write instantly perfect prose has made me freeze and creatively flatline, writing nothing for what feels like ages. But I've determined this is just B.S. stress I put on myself. A scene through rework can became stronger, better. Not perfect perhaps, but even better than perfect it becomes right. Something I enjoy and am proud to have created.
2) I am learning to love the writing process more and more. "If the Muse arrives late for work, you begin without them." Peter S. Beagle. This is at times painful. I can create some super-cliched craptastic stuff. But then, somewhere in between grinding my teeth and contemplating harm to my computer or pencil, in blusters one of my muses (they're always late) with stale doughnuts, Odwalla OJ and apologies yammering about this great idea that happened while dodging traffic and thankfully, we're off.
3) I don't ever need to feel "guilty" for my writing time, my commitment to it or my ever growing passion about it. In the past, I would often write and take so much joy in it...I kinda felt bad. I'd think I should be doing work, college homework, spending time with the Hot Clever Man, family, friends, cleaning the house, saving the world...something else. I'd sneak writing time for myself like I was sneaking around town with a secret lover and I'd still try to do all those other things too. And if I did, I'd pat myself on the back for being such a good multi-tasker and not disappointing anyone. Funny thing though, progress on my writing? Ebbed to near nil while my joy became fleeting at best and I disappointed myself. So these days I'm feeling differently. I respect my desire, enjoyment and time to write. Stuff still gets accomplished. Quality time is joyfully spent. But I don't let my writing take the backseat to them. So with that...there's nothing to get hung up about.
I don't want to forget any of this process. This is all just too much fun to let these moments fade away.
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The Fine Print
Words That Rattle 'Round My Head by Ray M. Solberg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
2 comments:
We need to get a writing group together. I long to read more of your stuff.
Hot Clever Man. Delightful! And the Queen of Science thinks its entirely appropriate.
Oh yes please! Though if you check out my website I do have a few pieces up! www.wordsthatrattle.com
And yes, there must be a way for us to do this - I miss reading more of your works, too. I'm thinking about it... something that we can both do.
All our love to you and the lovely Queen of Science. Always missed.
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